Monday, November 28, 2011

An Irresponsible Intern

Happy Belated Thanksgiving girls!!

How are u?! I headed down south this weekend to see my family, and I have to say I had enough Turkey to last a lifetime! I almost never thought I’d make it though! Wednesday morning I sat down with T, my intern who I have to say has turned into a real nightmare, to go over some last details for an event happening next week.

First of all, the prick gives me a ton of attitude since I asked him to come in early to ensure we get this down before the weekend.

Second, he arrives late.

Third, he comes striding in like there’s no problem at all and casually says hello to everyone in the office before coming over to impatient me waiting. Ahhhh! Already there I wanted to burst!

But wait….So he finally comes over. We start going over things…I stay calm, cool and collected…and then he has the nerve to tell me that he hasn’t finished everything yet. He says he needs the morning to go over a few things. What?!?!?! I exploded girls. The meeting room windows shook!! Every single thing I had asked him to do, he had fucked up on. From coming in on time, to getting his work done….nothing!! I would have never had the guts to do that when I was an intern.

I’ll spare you the details, but let me tell you, there’s a new Flora in the house, and this Flora won’t take any sh*t any longer!

T. the intern in fact spent Friday at the office finishing everything off as expected. Yes, this Friday after Thanksgiving T. had to learn his lesson and not taking his work, responsibilities and me for granted!


Thursday, November 24, 2011

An Intern's Comic Relief

Flora, I feel your pain.  Hollywood is notorious for underpaying as well.  Sadly, I don't think the assistant in my office gets paid much more than me, the intern.  C'est la vie.

Speaking of the assistant... true story:

Yesterday at work she started to feel pains in her lower back and then it moved to her abs.  Over the following hour the pain grew to the point where she couldn't sit down at her desk anymore.  She literally fell to the floor in agonizing pain and was crouched over into the fetal position.  Then she started to panic and literally all the color from her face disappeared within seconds and she started to hyperventilate.  So I got her a glass of water, but it was no use.   We had to call an ambulance to the office.

It took the paramedic about 20 mins to get there!  She had caught her breath by the time they arrived, but they still took her to the hospital to get the pain checked out... The doctor had one feel around and gave her a diagnosis.  She had trapped gas!  I shit you not! (no pun intended)  OMG she was mortified.  How f**king embarrassing is that?!  The intern takes you to the hospital for some trapped gas?  I keep getting the visual from The Last King Of Scotland when James McAvoy has to push the fart right out of Forest Whitaker!

I had to hold my laughter in until I got home!  I was dying!  Trapped gas!  I don't doubt that she was in horrible pain, but OMG... f**king brilliant!  That made my month!



Saturday, November 19, 2011

A “full-time” deception

Hey Rose! And I was hoping you’d come by NY one of these days L

I’m a little in the same situation as you… I mean when I look at the work we put into our jobs and what we get out of them I just go crazy! The sad thing is that there is nothing I can do about it right now…and regardless of the fact that I’m now working and no longer an intern, the pay is still shit.

I’m still struggling at the end of the month to pay my rent. I’m still not going out to restaurants as much as I could have dreamed I would. I’m still not gonna be going on a Caribbean vaca this year (I don’t even have the days for it…)…My piggy bank is empty! 

It just seems  as though so much that I was looking forward to in a full-time position has been a deception. And yes, I’m talking about the money. I relate to the “Occupy” movement…no I haven’t gone down and protested myself, but I’m totally there in spirit.

Our entire generation is working their asses off and what do we get in return? We get to pay off the debt we accumulated all throughout college for the rest of our lives…yup, that’s pretty much it right now…

Ok, I guess you can tell I’m clearly not having a hunky dory day today….my ex-obsession hot intern has turned into a nightmare….

To be continued ladies…

Flora xoxo

Friday, November 18, 2011

The Broke Intern

O, so glad that you finally made it out to LA!  It was so nice to have such a good friend in town.  Definitely miss that in this city.   My boss absolutely loved you btw... a little odd that he keeps mentioning my 'lovely friend from Paris'... you made some impression for the few mins that he met you in the office!  Flora, how is NYC?

Well, I have just spent the last few dollars before my next paycheck on watching We Need To Talk About Kevin.  (I would put it on par with Blue Valentine.  Depressing and disturbing, but extremely well done!)  I know, I know... I need to get my priorities straight, but I was simply dying to see it! So now I have just over $5 to get through the week.

Any thoughts on how to make it through a weekend with no money in Los Angeles are welcome!  At least I have an almost full tank of gas!  I'm thinking I might just catch up on some television and buy a few bags of instant ramen!  Without a doubt, I will be suffering with cabin fever by Monday morning... not to mention starvation!

Thank god my internship is based from my boss's home!  The housekeeper always makes a little bit of extra food and slips it to me when no one is looking.  Haha I'm like the office dog begging for the leftovers to be slipped to me under the table!    

T minus 7 days until pay day!  Help!



Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Adventures in LA LA Land!

Hi girls!
How are things?  Rose, I have a few people to add to that list!  Flora, we missed you in LA last week!

Rose took me all over town, I had the quintessential LA experience!  A screening of The Muppets (loved it!)  Drinks at Beacher's Madhouse and Soho House!  Dinner at Matsuhisa with my amazing friend R and her adorable son O and many a breakfast at the Chateau Marmont (my fave!)! But it wasn't all play, of course there were my meetings.  I was there to work, remember!  Ha!

Now I am back in Paris where my situation has not changed.  My boss and Damien bonded even more while I was away and I continue to be a persona no grata on most business lunches and meetings.  It is actually fine as I cannot stand the pretentious, self-absorbed snob (Damien) anyway but way to bump me out!   As for the other "situation," that is most definitely in the past.  I'm over it.

Adding to my list of complaints, I am facing a working weekend with Damien this week.  How will I be able to spend all day Saturday and Sunday alone with him in the office?!  I can't even take 5 minutes with him!  Ugh!  He may be easy on the eyes but he is a pain in the ass!

Bisous xx Ophelia

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Eternally Growing List

Ophelia, I can't wait to see you!  Send me your flight details please!  I know that you can expense a taxi cab, but I won't have it.  I will be picking you up.  Just look for the hunk of sh*t, rusted car!  (I wish I were joking...)

You ladies know that I like lists.  I am an organization and control freak.  I like to make lists for everything.  It helps me calm down.  I even like to make lists of the lists.  Well, one of my lists keeps growing by the day in this city of sharks.  That would be my F**k You List.  This list is comprised of all the people that have either doubted me, back stabbed me, or in any way brought me down during my eternal intern adventures.

Well today the list has grown by 1.  Mr. Alexander.  I met him at the young hollywood party at CAA a few weeks ago and we got on brilliantly. I told him that I work for a director from the office pool house.  He assists a couple of lit agents.  He has been sending me job postings from his tracking boards every day and we have met up for 'work drinks' a few times as well.  Really great guy... until last night!

We went out with a few of his friends, which was great because I got to meet more assistants in the industry.  I looked great, he looked great, we were laughing and exchanging stories and then he said the four words that anyone in my position dreads the most when introducing what I do to his friends... "Still Just An Intern."  

"F**k you!" I thought.

And that is the story of how Mr. Alexander, within a few moments,  went from potential romance and good friend to the newest addition to my F**k You List.  



Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Taking the High Road

Hi my lovely girls,
Let me start by saying that I miss you both so much!  We need an Eternal Intern holiday somewhere warm and fabulous!  Flora, how funny that your intern is such a social butterfly!  Maybe he'll settle into his role and you two will have a long and happy (professional?) relationship together! hehe!  Rose, have I got news for you... I'm coming to LA!!   I will be there on FRIDAY!!  Can you believe it!?  I haven't been out to visit you in years and years and now it is finally happening!

While I am excited to be going on yet another business trip, I am a little concerned this time around.  Usually my boss goes on these trips and in recent history he has been taking me with him.  This time, however, I am being sent alone and I have a funny feeling it is because he wants me out of the picture!  Ever since that damn Damien started I have become the invisible woman.  Damien and the boss have started some ridiculous Ol' Boys Club and I have been excluded!

And have I mentioned just how much I hate Damien?  I don't trust him in the least.  He's too perfect, you know?  I am determined to find out exactly what is wrong with him (there must be something!).  And the worst part?  He doesn't fight fair.  He's a snake!  That's fine with me though, I'll take the high road... to LA!  Clear your schedule, Rose!  I'm staying at the Chateau Marmont and guess what... I'm expensing everything!  ha!

Bisous xx Ophelia


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