Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Expecting the Unexpected

O! It seems like you have one nutty boss after another! What is it with bosses today? I also thought I had seen everything a work environment could throw out at you...but girls let me tell you, today tops it all off!

An intern joined the team 2 months ago. She's really sweet, studied Fashion and went to Parsons, grew up in the South...a real Southern Belle. So it was no surprise that - given this real Southern upbringing - she reveal to us, that 3 months before starting the internship she had just gotten married. Typical Southern Belle wedding... beautiful set up (I have to admit I did a little Facebook stalking).

So ya... we've had a "married intern" working here for the past 2 months....a tiny bit funny and startling at first (especially since most of us are still living solo....) but we got used to it....That is, until this morning she made a huge announcement.... an announcement that left me clueless... an announcement that had us all gossiping..

T. is pregnant! Yes....T. is officially 4 months pregnant...

I guess we could have guessed it, since she's begun wearing a little looser shirts and I guess now that I analyze her chest (odd I know...) it had indeed taken a bigger dimension shall we say... But shit man, seriously!! The intern is pregnant!

Now listen to me! I shouldn't say this! I myself have a longstanding intern record and should not be one to judge. It's not because she's an intern that she can't be pregnant but wtf?! Is there such a thing as intern maternity leave? Did she know she was 2 months pregnant prior to taking on this gig? Has she blown her chances of ever being hired on? Does she even care?

So many much whispering...and such a long odd and awkward silence when she announced her happy news.

I felt super bad for her! Definitely not the reaction she was looking for! We just all kinda stood there...not really knowing what to say...and I looked over to my boss...who is (1) single, (2) kidless and (3) I think secretly in denial about wanting a husband and a family....She looked sad...almost was odd....omg soooooo odd!

I'm staring at her now...haha I'm such a stalker! And I still can't believe how our intern is now pregnant!!
I guess - Congrats!?!

Flora xoxo

Monday, April 25, 2011

Passing Out Pink Slips

How are you?  Flora, I cannot believe you got locked out!  That is my biggest fear!  Rose, what's the latest?  We
haven't heard from you since Coachella!  

I am writing to you from the Porter lounge at the Toronto City Airport.  My flight to New York has been delayed two hours!  This is a bit problematic since I pretty much land in New York, change bags and leave for Paris again.  These thunderstorms are really messing up my travel plans!  I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world to be delayed but my boss, and newest neighbor, is already blowing up my iphone with demands.  I predict that living next to him will be the motivation I need to find a new apartment... in a new city, perhaps?  ha!  

I'm not the only person dealing with a nutty boss.  I had a chat with a friend of mine, S, a legal consultant at a fancy company in London whose boss really takes the cake.  Just last week she was summoned into her boss' office where she was informed that she is "less of a disappointment than expected" and told to give herself a raise!  When she arrived back at her desk to announce the good news on Facebook, she saw an email from her boss instructing her to fire the heads of HR, marketing and accounting as well as several interns!   And get this:  the head of accounting is her best friend and he helped her get the job!  Talk about taking the joy out of a raise!  Isn't that just dreadful?  

Of all the crazy demands I get from my boss (who still insists on calling me and the other assistant by the same name... my name!), at least I haven't had to fire my friend!  Quel nightmare!   

Well my darlings, I am off to check on the status of my flight!  

Bisous xx Ophelia 

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Locked Out

Ophelia! Stop it - you're making me insanely jealous!

While you were jet setting away, I was trying to break into my apartment! Ya, that's right, break into my very own studio! Why you may ask....well because of the case of the forgotten keys at work.

What an idiot I was last night - seriously! I got out of work much too late (according to my standards!). I had a late night meeting and finally got a cab home around 10.45pm. I get out of the cab, start walking up the steps and low and behold I realized I had forgotten my jacket at work...yes I know, stupid! But it was surprisingly mild last night and I was in such a rush to get home, that I absentmindedly forgot my jacket that held my home keys.

I was fuming when I realized I was locked out! My family is down south so they can't bail me out. El novio is spending la Semana Santa en Espana. I have no doorman. And, like many New Yorkers I don't know my neighbors! So I was screwed, especially since there was no way I wanted to head back to the office....

So I tried the credit card break in method on my success.
I tried the hairpin break in method in my key success.
I was about to try the kung fu break in method (or more like, break the door method) ... and then I thought to myself I should probably now just suck it up and head back to work.

So I did...I was the only person there at almost midnight. It was dark, quiet...freaky!

My worst nightmare has always been to be locked in a library over night, so you can only imagine my paranoiac fears as I made my way to my desk. I finally got my keys, made a safe escape out in time, and made it home ok!

After such a night, I have to say, I had a pretty wicked sleep!

Flora xoxo

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Vacationing Intern

Hi Girls,
How are you?  I am on leg three of my East Coast North American tour.  As you know, I was in New York, Montauk, Miami, Connecticut and now... I am in Toronto!   What a whirlwind!  haha!  I am having the best time!   My fun was momentarily cut short by a message from my boss informing me that he is moving to Paris full-time AND he is moving onto my street!  His apartment is literally down the street from mine and I have to pass him to get to the metro, grocery store, my favorite cafĂ© and just about everything else I need to survive!  So, I have two options:  Never leave my apartment again or never leave my apartment again.  I have settled on the latter!  haha!  Luckily, I have another week of vacation before I head back to Paris to face the music.

That said, I have been having the best time.  Ashton and I had a sensational time in Miami!  I absolutely adored all the stunning art deco hotels and, of course, the beach!  I must say, she and I are more Nantucket than Miami, but it didn't stop us from having a blast!  We spent every minute of daylight on the beach but evenings were reserved for dinners at Smith and Wollensky, Joe's Stone Crab and drinks at the Raleigh, the Shore Club and the Delano.

Last weekend, I went to adorable Litchfield, Connecticut for a wine tasting with my sister, her boyfriend and some friends.  We had lunch in Litchfield and then went to check out the Connecticut wine trail (who knew?) before heading back to the City.  En route we stumbled upon an abandoned psychiatric hospital that was straight out of Shutter Island!  Rose, you must shoot a movie there someday!   What a swell way to spend an early spring Sunday!

And now, I am in Toronto where it is gloomy and gray.  My house is sadly empty without little Felix but it is nice to be back.  So do I have an action-packed evening ahead of me?   Nope!  Just a highly-anticipated date with my TiVo!   Missing you both.

Bisous xx Ophelia

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Case of the Fast Talker

Chicas! It's Sunday morning! Best lazy morning of week! And what a week it was! There's a new addition to the team and let me tell you - she's quite interesting to say the least.
As if we didnt already have enough odd cases at the office now here's a new addition! (I hope noone is speaking of me this way!). She's young, good looking and allegedly went to Princeton...... She's working in the corporate communications office. Great looks, great education, great job. 

The perfect specimen... Yes? That is until you hear her speak.... I dont know if it's nerves or what - but as soon as the girl opens her mouth its like a marathon! She's got a serious case of speed speech - if i can call it that!

So why you may ask does this trouble me? Haha! Well I simply can't even comprehend what she says! We were at a meeting yesterday and my note pad was quasi blank! My boss glared at me...likely because she too was just not following anything!

But the worst was the conference call we had yesterday about an internal event we will be hosting at the end of the wasn't like other meetings when I can simply tune out and not listen. On the contrary - I was directly implicated. She spoke so quickly I had to make her repeat her sentences sometimes 3 times....I felt so bad! But it was crucial for my understanding!!

I've never been confronted with such a fast talker before!! Next meeting I attend with her, I think I'll bring a voice recorder! I'll either have to speed up my neurons or I'll have to slow down her talking once and for all!!

Am I horrible??


Flora xoxo

Thursday, April 14, 2011


Ophelia,  I've said it before and I will say it again... I want your life for even one day!  All that travel sounds great.  What is going on with work?  I don't really understand what you are up to these days?  Are you on hiatus from the intern/assistant world?  Update please and come kidnap me and take me to Miami with you!

Things in my life are progressing to, dare I say... exciting?  My office romance is officially kindled... except it is not much of a romance and instead more of a fling... not the love of my life, but a girl needs some lovin' once in a while!  Too much info? 

I got the day off from being an Eternal Intern tomorrow to go to Coachella and I don't think it is physically possible to be more excited!  I have never been before and I am so psyched... lots of good music, drinks, friends, and men ;)  

Flora,  drop us a line!  Hope you are not working too hard. Last time we spoke you sounded a little stressed out from work and life in general.  Everything OK in the Big Apple?

I'll call you guys this weekend.



Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Traveling Intern

Hello girls!
Rose, can't wait to hear more about this new office romance!  How exciting!   I am seeing Flora next week and I know she too is dying to hear the details!   As you know, I am in New York for a few weeks and already having the best time!  I was in the Hamptons this weekend and it was AMAZING.  It is still chilly in New York so the beaches were empty and the towns were nice and peaceful.   Sand, sea and lobster rolls!  It was the perfect weekend.  Last night went to see Thieves, a friend's band, playing at The Montauket and then followed some of the locals to a very "authentic"bar.  It the most fun I have had in ages!

This morning, slightly worse for wear, we had breakfast in Montauk and then had tea on the beach with one of our favorite Montauk residents.  It was a wonderful day, not too cool and starting to really feel like spring.   There were surfers out at Ditch Plains beach but it was a peaceful, quiet morning.   So perfect and peaceful that I had such a hard time packing up the car to head back to the city!  Luckily, I won't have to be away from the ocean for too long...  I leave for Miami tomorrow morning!

Ashton, long overdue for a holiday, proposed a few days in Miami and I was quick to agree!  Four days on Miami Beach with my fabulous friend, I am so so so excited!  So girls, I will be MIA in MIA for the next few days.  Flora, we still have more catching up to do when I get back and Rose, any chance you can hope a flight to NYC?!

Speak to you soon, les filles!

Bisous xx Ophelia

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

from Boredom to Romance

Flora, I would definitely do anything for Los Angeles.  If it meant getting married to a man off the street, I would!   The biggest love of my life has been this city !

Work has been so boring lately.  They have an entire crew of interns now, but there isn't enough work to keep us all busy. So instead, we take turns going on runs and assisting the crew with ad hoc duties.  This means that each of us have a few hours of downtime per day.  How do you pretend to look busy when you don't even have a computer screen to hide behind?!

I am so boooooooored.  I really hope things pick up again soon.  I simply can't handle staring at a dot on the wall for very much longer.

On a positive note though, it has given me time to get to know one of the other interns quite well.  He is a year younger than me, which is inevitable when you are an eternal intern... I'm always the oldest!  Anyway, he is super cute and super sweet and I think it is time for me to kindle an office romance.  Most importantly, he is leaving in a couple of weeks to return to school (he is doing his MFA at USC ) and that means that if doesn't work out I don't have to endure an awkward office atmosphere.    Win!

Stay tuned for an update ;)



Sunday, April 3, 2011

In the name of love? In the name of New York?

Ophelia! Get over here already!

I can't wait to see you! Speaking of job searching and translatlantic ventures, el novio has just told me the craziest story that shows just how far people will go for jobs in the Big Apple...and just how tough nailing that visa can be... (which totally reminds me how tough it's been to get where I am today!)

Get this... el novio knows this girl who came to New York from Spain to do an internship...Internship goes super well...she falls in love with New York (and a New Yorker...) and decides she wants to stay.

The company allows her a 6-month internship extension - she's beyond excited, stays and completes her internship. The 6 months go by (the New Yorker as well...) and she now tries to negotiate a full-time job with them (she clearly wants to stay...oh and btw a new New Yorker is now in the picture who works for the same Spanish company!).

By this time the company clearly tells her that despite them wanting to keep her, they just can't. They can't justify her need for a visa and their need for her in the company. so many Europeans, she goes back to Spain. But her heart is still in New York. 1 week back in Madrid, she ditches everything, buys a 1-way ticket back to NY. Arrives in NY and a week later gets married to her boyfriend who works for the same company ANNNNDD the craziest of it all, the company HAS to sponsor her for a spouse visa now as he is an expatriate ANNNNDDDDD after putting a ton of pressure on the company, they end up hiring her!!

I couldn't believe the story! The lengths people will go or New York?

This city is indeed an addiction and a passion! And this hilariously crazy anecdote clearly proved it to me once again this afternoon!

Besitos chicas,

Flora xoxo


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